Dearest Valued Beneficiary,

It is with a heart full of solemn responsibility and utmost urgency that I, Barrister Aloysius Von Trustworthy (Esq. OBE, PhD, Grand Master of the Royal Order of Fiscal Rectitude), contact you regarding a matter of significant financial importance.

A distant relative, whom you have likely never met (nor have I, to be frank, but these things are complex), the esteemed Baron Reginald Von Hoardenwealth, has sadly departed this mortal coil, leaving behind a considerable fortune amounting to FORTY-SEVEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($47,500,000.00 USD).

Through exhaustive genealogical research (and a rather fortunate turn of a dusty rolodex), you have been identified as the sole surviving heir!

To facilitate the immediate transfer of these funds into your designated account, we merely require a small, nominal processing fee of $1,999.99 USD to cover essential administrative costs, such as tea and biscuits for the clerks, and the polishing of the official bank seal (it’s quite large).

Please remit this fee via unsecured wire transfer to the details I shall provide upon your swift reply. Indicate your full name, banking details, mother’s maiden name, your first pet’s name, and your favorite color so we may verify your identity against the Grand Ledger of Rightful Heirs.

Time is of the essence! Failure to act within 48 hours may result in the funds being absorbed by the Crown (or worse, used to fund the annual Synchronised Swimming Gala).

Yours in utmost confidence and fiscal anticipation,

Barrister Aloysius Von Trustworthy Senior Partner, Global MegaBank Corp International - Department of Unexpected Fortunes “Where Your Windfall is Our Command!”